Porn Addiction is one of the fastest-growing mental health issues of our time.
Porn addicts spend a lot of time searching for and looking at pornography—digital imagery accessed via their computer, laptop, tablet, smartphone, or some other Internet enabled device. They often engage in compulsive masturbation and other compulsive sexual behaviors like webcam sex, hook-ups via hook-up sites, and sexting. And, today’s internet pornography is especially habit-forming due to what sex addiction experts call the three A’s: “accessibility, affordability, and anonymity.”
According to porn addiction expert Robert Weiss, PhD., the following are common
signs that your porn use has escalated to the level of addiction. If you relate to
three or more, you or your partner may be suffering from porn addiction:
At Healthy Sex Consultants, we understand that porn addiction is a disorder of brain chemistry. Over 170 brain studies on porn addicts demonstrate the ways chronic and habitual porn use changes the brain (through something called “brain neuroplasticity”). There are three main ways that pornography “rewires” otherwise healthy brain functioning.
1. Super Stimulus
Often, internet pornography involves performers with sexual attributes beyond what is natural and stimulates the brain beyond what it can reasonably process. Dopamine receptors become overwhelmed with wanting and seeking and craving.
No real partner can complete with this kind of exaggerated imagery. As a result, recent studies show us that 30% of men under the age of 40 struggle with erectile dysfunction when attempting to be sexual with a live partner (but, not with porn!). In 2002 it was 2%. We call this Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED).
With full voyeuristic control, porn addicts often stumble into genres of pornography which, in the words of sex addiction pioneer Patrick Carnes, leads to “accessing the unresolved.” Simply stated—the brain is not equipped to handle the intensity and stimulation of today’s internet pornography. In PET scans of porn addicts, we see the brain reward circuits lighting up like cocaine addicts.
These neural pathways become stronger and more defined over time creating addictive neural pathways in the brain. In addition, some porn addicts engage in “edging,” where the brain chemistry, especially dopamine, is elevated for long periods of time—constantly clicking through new content and new genres. All this exposure overwhelms the brain circuitry and deepens the addictive neural pathways. In a nutshell, this makes it really difficult to stop viewing porn.
2. Super Novelty
Porn addicts build tolerance over time requiring different and new pornography
in order to achieve the desired effect. The limitless nature of internet porn is like having a Ferrari engine with Kia brakes—it overpowers the porn addict’s ability to stop. Sometimes porn addicts escalate into other sexually addictive behaviors like meeting up with strangers or hiring sex workers. Over time, reason and logic diminish (something called “Hypofrontality.”)
Principle brain activity moves further into the reward circuitry (middle brain) and less into the “thinking” brain (Prefrontal Cortex). After episodes of spiraling through numerous genres of streaming videos, many porn addicts ask themselves “what was I thinking?” In fact, logical thinking has gone off-line temporarily while the porn addict seeks higher and higher levels of arousal—the “perfect” imagery for ejaculation. Consequences and risks seem to fade out of awareness.
3. Associations
The great Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov helped us understand that “neurons which fire together—wire together.” For porn addicts, the use of pornography offers a sense of euphoria and escape from feelings of distress. Porn addicts build dependency over time to just feel okay. When bored, view pornography. When lonely, view pornography. When angry or ashamed or sad, view pornography.
Basically, stress response = craving for porn. For porn addicts, this process may be out of awareness, yet continues to strengthen neural pathway associations. Likewise, porn addicts do not usually associate connecting emotionally with a committed partner as a way of alleviating uncomfortable feelings. Through something called “auto-regulation,” the porn addict uses pornography and masturbation to help themselves feel better—usually not emotional connection. This association between porn and emotional relief leads to alienation from loved ones and a growing sense of isolation.
Often, porn addicts do not consider the impact of their behavior on a partner or spouse. Some rationalize, thinking “I’m not hurting anyone else.” However, research and experience with partners of sex and porn addicts demonstrates this to be untrue.
In 2005, Dr. Kevin Skinner co-authored an assessment called “Trauma Inventory for Partners of Sex Addicts” (TIPSA). This assessment has helped therapists understand what partners of porn addicts experience. Partner symptoms include feelings of betrayal (all the lying to cover up porn use), fear, reliving the experience (such as the moment of catching a porn addict viewing porn and/or masturbating), having negative self-cognitions like, “If I were only sexier he/she would not do this”, and increased emotional arousal (anxiety, yelling, sleep problems, racing thoughts, and sometimes even suicidal ideation). In addition, many partners of porn addicts isolate themselves, feeling alone, ashamed to talk about how the issue is affecting them. Therapists call this Betrayal Trauma.
If you think you or your partner may be struggling with porn addiction, Healthy Sex Consultants can help you stop. We understand the challenges of this difficult addiction. With the support of a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) you will be guided through the recovery process and receive expert help to stop the destructive behavior of porn addiction.
Schedule a call today with our Porn Addiction Therapists. It's free, secure and confidential.
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